Having issues viewing this email? See it online.

We tend to create the most frenemies through the workplace. This is where we meet people involuntarily, but they're also the people we spend the most amount of time with. So while hours and hours of chit chat and bonding can make a person seem like a friend, when push comes to shove, i.e. when it's time for a raise or promotion, you might just get thrown to the wolves, or find yourself throwing your cubicle mate to said wolves. If this situation rings a bell, focus on boundaries, and try to remember everything you say to your office friend could make it straight to your boss's ear.

She continually acts surprised when you tell her she's hurt your feelings. For instance, she hadn't even thought that whatever she did – say she flirted with your crush – or didn't do – like not calling you when you're going through a hard time – would affect you. If this isn't the first time, in fact you can't even count how many times she's done this, it's probably time to let her go; don't waste time wondering and giving her more chances, you're just enabling her. Just because she says "she's sorry" and she "didn't mean to hurt you," doesn't make up for the fact that she doesn't really care.

She only seems to call you when she's bored or blue. While you might rush to her side every time she beckons, you get the feeling (or know from experience) that she wouldn't be available when your chips are down. It's time to be realistic about the friendship and not set any expectations for it. Either no longer make yourself vulnerable to her, or just simply let her go. The same goes for that friend you know you treat the same way – she's always there for you, you can't be bothered to be there for her. So that you aren't capable of hurting her anymore, the kind thing to do is to let her go.

When you hear that she's suffered a loss or encountered some rough times – her boyfriend broke up with her, she lost her job – you're secretly happy, and your consoling words are scant or non-existent. (You realize you just can't find the words to make her feel better, and it's most likely you aren't really trying). Same goes for you, if you've fallen upon hard times and she doesn't seem to care, or you can tell she's actually sort of pleased – get rid of her. Tip: Always get perspective by thinking of someone who really is your true friend, and compare their behavior.

You find yourself talking behind her back and spilling her secrets. For some reason, even though you consider yourself a good friend and a good person, something about her turns you into Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls. Do a little self-exploring and ask yourself why this is. Are you jealous? Threatened? These aren't the traits of a healthy relationship. A break up will be good for both of you – her secrets will be safe, and you won't always end up feeling lousy about yourself right after you've badmouthed her.

A few more tips: Trust your instincts: if you think someone is your frenemy, they probably are. You definitely deserve better. Once she's out of your life you'll have the time for new, better friends, or more time with your real ones. Frenemies are confusing, because just like any relationship with a jerky guy, there's a reason you're together, you probably share a lot in common and once had great chemistry. But if she doesn't make you feel good about yourself, in fact you always feel rotten after seeing or talking to her, it's not a healthy relationship.

Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton
When their reality show The Simple Life was cancelled by E!, the friendship was cancelled as well. Nicole kept her mouth shut but Paris told the press: "Nicole knows what she did." The two reconciled a little while back but seem to be on different paths – Nicole's a mother of two; Paris is still the party girl.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Winona Ryder
These actresses were best friends all through the ‘90s, and shared many a double date when Winona was dating Matt Damon, and Gwyneth was dating Ben Affleck. The friendship apparently dissolved when Winona accused Gwyneth of stealing Shakespeare In Love from her. There's speculation that Gywneth was speaking of Winona‘s shoplifting incident at Barney's when she wrote in her GOOP column that when she "heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. ...my reaction was deep relief and…happiness."

You are receiving this email because you've subscribed to receive newsletters from Blush Media, LLC. If you would like to unsubscribe from this newsletter please click here. If you love our newsletters and want to forward them on, feel free. Or, send your friends to blush.com.

To ensure that Blush newsletters are delivered to your inbox, please add newsletter@newsletter.blush.com to your address book.

#255 1590-D Rosecrans Ave. Manhattan Beach, CA 90266